I Surrender.

 My friend K called me today to wish me a happy birthday, and he remembers it each year because "that's the day Japan surrendered".  How many Americans even know the significance of August 15th 1945?  And more surprising is that I seemed to forget that my friend K who moved to this country when he was 17 as an exchange student, worked at big Japanese banks after college and went on, at 36 to pursue his true passion to work in a showroom for a fashion label, is a person who would use such an ominous date for his former nation a memory device.  Seriously, if you knew him, recalling infamous dates in his nation's history is the very last thing you'd expect him to bring up. One can learn (or recall such dates that were memorized some 20 years ago in a high school text book) things from the most unexpected of places.  The lesson I'm learning this year is to stand my ground when I think I have a right to, but surrender to the fact that people may not behave the way I'd like.  Particularly important when I put a phone call I had earlier this morning into perspective after the jump.

Maybe the most important lesson I learned in Wall Street is the ability to empathize.  Sounds kind of nuts I know.  But we must put ourselves in the seat of every client and think about how many phone calls, emails, bloombergs, IMs, not to mention the sense of urgency they have to put to use for their own investors- the very people who put them in their seats.  This also means I was meant to tailor my entire process with his/her information overload in mind.  What can I bring to the conversation as quickly and simply consisting of hopefully an iota of value-add while I have their impatient and probably angry attention for a millisecond?  If I had the real relationship, I could have a real conversation with the guy, but I don't have the relationship.  This doesn't mean that I have to like it- but guys this is the only way to pick up new business or keep warm biz going.  This doesn't mean I have to feel good when the phone clicks dead when I'm still in hyped up sell mode, or when an IM or Bloomberg doesn't get responded to, or when an e-mail doesn't get returned.  It feels a lot like shit actually.  But I must surrender my ego at all times.

So it was around 2006 when a particularly brutal internal salesman (they were our nemesis at more times than our own clients were) tore into me hard after a who-even-fucking-knows execution issue and I asked, quite hypothetically aloud, would (giving his client a better fill at the firm's/my expense) make him happy?  The blunt answer I needed came from a dude siting beside me who said, "Jesse nothing will make him happy".  So in a perverse way, I had to surrender to the fact that as a human being, the only way I could function in this irrational, uncomfortable exercise would be to just feel bad for the guy.  The firm I spent several years of my career was known best for housing the largest number of "miserable millionaires".  I think many of you who read this blog who work/worked on wall street say their own firm had that distinction.  This poor guy, whose value system is most likely 100% tied to his income, will never be satisfied, and not in that healthy competitive nature way.  Remember, there were once "good times" on the street, not everyone had to be a dick, it's just part of their process- it's how they make operate in that domain.  Now everyone is quite, justifiably, miserable, at least in terms of the state of affairs in their industry.

 I think things like this come up because we're lucky enough to be tested, and presented with opportunities to strengthen things that we have to work on, and none of us are perfect - even the miserable millionaires - because things do change - many of those guys are now hitting me up with "been a while" email with the most recent mortgage rates and their new contact info.

That's why, this morning as I was given the opportunity to have a call with up till now the most influential and successful internet founder/vc/angel I have been in front of in this whole process began... after 15 minutes of advice about the biz he said about my idea, 'I wouldn't bother with it, too much competition'.  I surrendered to the sting, and thought to myself- this dude just offered me the best advice I've gotten yet.  It's only feedback, and I didn't take it close to personally.  I know his job is to say no to things, and he just gave me the best of what he did, for free.  I'm glad he thought I was man enough to handle that kind of candor.  It means I've come a long way.

When the time comes I promulgate the "easy way to help ourselves make more informed trades/investments"on tradembark., I have to surrender to whatever the users have to say be OK with failing fast.  The users don't care how much "passion" I have for this, or what my "guiding principles" are.  They want something that is going to help them solve a problem, and they want to pay exactly... nothing for that.  How do I make this into a business?  These questions will be answered.

For now, It's up to me to do the hard work around this, remembering the WHY, and hope that with some hard work and luck, I'm presented with the solutions to fully fleshing out my very own idea. For now, I'm thrilled to keep my head down and do my work regardless of the bumps (the second most important thing I learned in wall street) and keep my own dream alive because I know I am the person that should be.  Not anyone else.