Hate It Or Love It

Eminem - We Made You
(hip hop is generally nsfw, but if you're at home, blast this at will, it's pretty dopey but good fun)

This morning I got a phone call from an old boss, actually an old President.  This is a dude who could sell fire in hell, who convinced me, in 2008 of all years, to leave a 2,500 person global bank and join his 250 person "relationship shop" with his earnestness and smile. Needless to say, we know which of those one is still around today.  I have no regrets, because I learned so much at his shop and made contacts that enabled my career to be extended for an entire two years!  Back to the lecture at hand, my old boss lived in my old, pre-trader returned human, neighborhood in downtown Manhattan.  I would see him from time to time with his kids, and usually I was coming back from Yoga or a jog along the Hudson or picking up Bagels.  I always like seeing him, because he is a charming guy, and never turns to negative town, despite so much of the emotional fuselage that spreads after a small investment bank closes.  He was never one to scold at our old shop, but the trading minion in me kind of braced for some disapproval this morning, since the first thing he said was "so I read your blog...".   How on earth did he find it?

Turns out I shouldn't have worried.  I mean, he probably is mildly offended by my scathing portrayal of his current and my former business. I think his ultimate suggestion was that maybe it makes more sense for me to use a different nom de plume.  It paints a bad picture of him and everyone I worked with, so
for that I feel bad if they think it refers to them personally, but I'll never apologize.  They want me to
keep writing.

Here's my rationale.  The last firm I worked at was directly across the street from occupy wall street's Zuccatti Park.  I would walk in the back entrance to avoid any contact with these people.  Not because they were all disgusting, because enough of them were, but it increased the chances of me having either: too existential a conversation with a fella that made me feel bad about what I do thus ruining my day, or, being shanked by some kid who has been up for three days on a meth bender and didn't like the look of me.  Either one compromised my ability to go in and make rich people richer (which, if you ask 99% of the people I worked with in any capacity, is the raison d'être of institutional trading).  Not that making rich people richer is a terrible thing to me personally, it's not, it's a choice.  I have chosen to dedicate my time to helping make rich and non-rich people discover how they can make more informed decisions.  Maybe if that happens, instead of inflating equity capitalizations of shell scam penny stocks and piling into Apple, there could be discovery and support of a less caustic energy company or an innovative biotechnology company which can have the currency to make the world better.  Ok off my soap box.  But I'll leave you with two thoughts. 1) Those that are investing/speculating purely to make quick mindless cash by any means necessary are not interested in participating in helping global change.  It's fine, but it's a fact.  Call it investing dharma.   2) Not a single person in my office across from filthy park, from the hardest screw, to the largest producer, to the lowest support guy, wasn't overheard saying, "You know, they actually do have a lot of good points."  Not a single person.  Then we all continued working for our daily bread.  About 70% of those fellas are still employed at that shop.  Good for them.  They all wish there was another way but they have no skills (sounds familiar).  And either they're rooting for me to fail, because of that whole shadenfreude thing, or hoping I make it big so I can get them a job some day.  We all live in this polar dream world, because we have seen muppets turn into millionaires before our eyes, while building nothing, helping no one, and it makes us sick.

It takes guts to leave an industry that pays you good money.  But that is the only reason to stay.  For those that are hating, I don't blame you.  Kicking sand on your livelihood while I have just about all the odds against me with my own thing is kind of obnoxious.  But, as Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson said better than anyone else has... "Hate it or love it the underdog's [about to drop].  And I'm gonna shine homie until my heart stop... cuz I ain't goin nowhere so you can get to know me.".