Labor Day

Notorious Big and Frank Sinatra - Everyday Struggle / A Day In The Life

Since this is the first Labor Day in my post-college career that I don't have a job to go to on Tuesday, I thought I'd wish a happy holiday to my friends in New York.

To my friends with big jobs and don't make nearly as much money as people think they do in entertainment, medicine, and over at large financial conglomerates like Amex, happy labor day.

To my overeducated friends with several degrees who can't find good work, and are doing things like selling gym memberships for a living, happy labor day.

To my former wall street friends who are out on their asses, burnt out, with bills to pay, happy labor day, take this time to relax, and take a breath, no one can figure it out for you, the hand that fed you is no longer there, and it's time to make some decisions.

Beginner's Mind

Shoshin

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For the Ryukyuan king, see Shō Shin.

Shoshin (初心) is a concept in Zen Buddhism meaning "beginner's mind". It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, 

and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner

in that subject would. 

Anders Ericsson's "10,000-Hour Rule" of expertise was popularized by the Malcolm Gladwell 

book "outliers".  For anyone who doesn't know, 

Facebook IPO in human speak

Every pre-ipo investor in Facebook did awesome.  They could give a shit that you lost money.  And why should they?  They have no responsibility to you.  And Facebook was founded by scrappy Harvard kids who weren't motivated by money?  Right?  It's not like the people influencing them were giving pieces of the action to the biggest investment bank in the world, hedge funds who were able to curry favor, and Russians you've never heard of?  Right?  Thank goodness they all stepped into that void and helped infuse the fledgling company with 500Mln+ users and tons of cash flow.

Sadly, in late 2011 and early 2012 a few friends and less savvy colleagues waited till they got me in private and told me,

With Freedom Comes Big Responsibility

(This is a classic rap video from 1993 by KRS-One that is generally SFW.  KRS was one of the first rappers to focus on social issues and has rallied for non-violence his entire career.)

The video above is worth watching.  A) It's hysterically irreverent B) The lyrics are worth paying attention to- really.  In 1993, hip hop was roughly 10 years into its nascence and entering into what connoisseurs like myself consider its "golden years", before really crappy artists driven by marketing & promotion (not real talent) began to get radio play and become extremely commercially viable.  KRS is considered one of the great artisans and legends of this art form, and probably has made less money in his entire career than lil' wayne makes in a month.  Real talent and sometimes even raw talent still dominates the success stories of startup nation.  I don't know too many folks that are actually trying to "strike while the iron's hot" in entrepreneurship- but the number is growing, trust me.

Today is my first day at a coworking community in downtown NYC where the long haul of the research and work will get done for the startup I am working on.  Instead of hopping around from

I Surrender.

 My friend K called me today to wish me a happy birthday, and he remembers it each year because "that's the day Japan surrendered".  How many Americans even know the significance of August 15th 1945?  And more surprising is that I seemed to forget that my friend K who moved to this country when he was 17 as an exchange student, worked at big Japanese banks after college and went on, at 36 to pursue his true passion to work in a showroom for a fashion label, is a person who would use such an ominous date for his former nation a memory device.  Seriously, if you knew him, recalling infamous dates in his nation's history is the very last thing you'd expect him to bring up. One can learn (or recall such dates that were memorized some 20 years ago in a high school text book) things from the most unexpected of places.  The lesson I'm learning this year is to stand my ground when I think I have a right to, but surrender to the fact that people may not behave the way I'd like.  Particularly important when I put a phone call I had earlier this morning into perspective after the jump.

Crack Game/ Rap Game

"Somehow the rap game reminds me of the crack game" 

This line is well known to fans of hip hop, but for the uninitiated, above refers to 1) a lyric in the middle of a Nas song, and 2) The sample (audio snippet) which provides the de facto chorus and song title ("Crack Game/ Rap Game) for an even more popular Jay-Z song. The Jay-Z song CGRG describes then startup rapper Jay-Z's ascent to radio domination vis-a-vis slinging drugs in the hood.   I won't waste your time with a blog drawing on the commonalities of lean startup ethos and the line,  "Let em test the product, give em a promo show.  Just a breeze, not enough to catch a real vibe." (this concept was touched upon in the book "Rework" by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson).  Instead, I offer this, my newest observations of a man reminded of a man trying to make his way in a strange world.  

When I meet folks who have been involved in this community for five, ten or maybe even fifteen plus years, it brings me back to a time when I first looked at the first twin screens (2 screens was considered a big deal in 1998, you were definitely official) at Knight Securities that looked like the matrix and a christmas tree mated on acid, and said to myself- there's just no way in hell I'm going to figure this out.  It took an unavoidable and at times intolerable climb up the learning curve, but I figured it out by fire.  The most important part of getting along was my interaction with those who helped me along the way. Those dozens  of new kids that have sat beside me on the trading desks of Jersey City, Connecticut, and NYC with eyes glazed over while desperately trying to remain just intense enough and interested enough- some whom have moved on to be head traders at big time hedge funds, and some are probably wearing a hard hat about now, I get to remember how they feel all over again.

Hate It Or Love It

Eminem - We Made You
(hip hop is generally nsfw, but if you're at home, blast this at will, it's pretty dopey but good fun)

This morning I got a phone call from an old boss, actually an old President.  This is a dude who could sell fire in hell, who convinced me, in 2008 of all years, to leave a 2,500 person global bank and join his 250 person "relationship shop" with his earnestness and smile. Needless to say, we know which of those one is still around today.  I have no regrets, because I learned so much at his shop and made contacts that enabled my career to be extended for an entire two years!  Back to the lecture at hand, my old boss lived in my old, pre-trader returned human, neighborhood in downtown Manhattan.  I would see him from time to time with his kids, and usually I was coming back from Yoga or a jog along the Hudson or picking up Bagels.  I always like seeing him, because he is a charming guy, and never turns to negative town, despite so much of the emotional fuselage that spreads after a small investment bank closes.  He was never one to scold at our old shop, but the trading minion in me kind of braced for some disapproval this morning, since the first thing he said was "so I read your blog...".   How on earth did he find it?

Turns out I shouldn't have worried.  I mean, he probably is mildly offended by my scathing portrayal of his current and my former business. I think his ultimate suggestion was that maybe it makes more sense for me to use a different nom de plume.  It paints a bad picture of him and everyone I worked with, so
for that I feel bad if they think it refers to them personally, but I'll never apologize.  They want me to

Before Knight Falls

“I have always considered it despicable to grovel for your life as if life were a favor. If you cannot live the way you want, there is no point in living” ― Reinaldo Arenas

As of the close of business today, Knight Capital Group, my former employer, is not out of business.  Far from it.  They're going to fight many more days- to the chagrin of it's peers on wall street.  If you think my wall street buds, some of whom are also former employees of KCG are relieved- that 1,400 similarly backgrounded employees don't have to worry about finding new jobs- think again.

Here are three meetings I had today- 


Meeting One (UX Director, J):

When I woke up this morning the news was out that over the weekend a few competitors and clients had decided to invest $400 million in KCG.  Knight has to pay back the vampire squid(GS) $440Mln by Wednesday night.  To make things even more ironic, my other former employer, Jefferies was the largest investor and put in $125mln.  Expect a decent sized media outlet to have the story out tomorrow

The Human Error and Wall Street.

I will remember today as the day the firm that trained me, gave me my first shot on wall street, three years of opportunity and a lifetime of memories, potentially began a quick descent into non-existence.  Now I might know how the alumni of Bear Stearns, Lehman, and Merrill Lynch felt when they could no longer feel proud of the achievement of having fought and won a spot at a prestigious firm out of college.  Those folks will always see the name of their firm at the bottom of the work experience portion of their CV as kind of embarrassment or taint they have to shrug off in conversation because their firms no longer exist and are associated with the financial meltdown of 2002.  I used to market myself with the distinction of having been selected to the training program for the biggest stock trading company in the world (which it was, possibly until today), now, I'm not so sure that's going to be my game plan.


August 1st, Big "technical issue"
August 2nd (today) Big decline in stock price, like huge.

Knight may be just be a decade and a half old, certainly had its share of mutants in its NJ based office, has had some of the ugliest black eyes in history in terms of trading compliance fines over the years, but the firm was revolutionarily aligned with technology very early in the game, it never took a dollar from the government, and besides a small separately branded asset management business for rich folks and instutitions, the core trading biz never handled individuals' money.  That means when they lost

Is It Practical?

"I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your      friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone." - Henry Rollins


It's funny and fitting for me to be writing a blog about a former wall street guy's foray into a professional life of great uncertainty in technology after actively avoiding the greatest innovations of our time, and quote Henry Rollins.  For those of you who don't know, HR was the singer of Black Flag, a pretty important California punk band in the early 80s, and has remained an interesting and relevant, albeit intense, personality in the media and music since.  One of my favorite shows on TV about five years ago was the Henry Rollins show on IFC.  His show was a entertaining platform for his very strong opinions about relevant issues, and one show in particular that stands out he had a particularly nasty rant about the irrelevance of social media, which at the time meant Myspace.  I tried